


Adult Entertainment

by Mellowyellowdiamonds



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 21st July Challenge, F/M, M/M, Olicity AU meet cute, Olicity Summer Sizzle, felicity's birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-20 08:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19989208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellowyellowdiamonds/pseuds/Mellowyellowdiamonds
Summary: The Hood shows up during Felicity's birthday celebration seeking assistance with technology, however a slightly tipsy Felicity genuinely believes he is an adult entertainer Donna has hired for her party.





	Adult Entertainment

**Author's Note:**

> Hallooo
> 
> I will go down trying to write these prompts no matter what I tell myself! I am not even doing the bingo cards anymore!
> 
> This prompt calls for a canon compliant story but I am terrible at canon so will leave that to better canon writers.
> 
> Instead I present you with this fluffy and humourous AU. Hope you enjoy it! Nothing can live up to Olicity's perfect canon meet cute but I love AU meet cutes regardless so I just keep writing them.

Ignoring the incredibly irritating music outside in the lounge room, Felicity lets out a deep, satisfied sigh as she licks the large spoonful of mint chip ice cream, the cool, sweet flavor soothing her as it permeates her mouth.

This had been a big mistake. What was she thinking letting her mother throw her a 23rd birthday party? It was her mother! With her IQ Felicity knew she should have predicted this disaster but instead she’d blindly allowed Donna to take over.

_Just a few of your neigbours darling. You should really make friends and socialise. Why do you never tell me about your friends or your life here?_

And so the guilt trip went on.

Oh well, it serves her right for being chicken and unable to say no. This was the reason why she now she found herself hiding in her bedroom from the woman who had given birth to her and about thirty people she did not know. 

Clearly they had less in common than Felicity had ever anticipated as evidenced by the loud music and whooping at what sounded like male adult entertainers which Felicity had no doubt was hired by her mother. 

Felicity digs into the carton for another generous spoon. Between the mint chip and copious amounts of alcohol she’d ingested earlier, Felicity might just make it through the night with her sanity in tact to see Donna off the next day. 

*** 

Felicity always thought of herself as a fairly observant person, but he came out of nowhere. And by _he_ , Felicity meant the incredibly fit and potentially handsome male entertainer her mother had managed to nab. 

Potentially because his face is partially covered by a hood and what looks like greasepaint. The dark, mysterious Hood thing was really working for this guy. Normally they were rather cheerful and garish in their outfits. He’s standing right by her open window and is very overdressed for his profession. 

Felicity giggles to herself and shoves another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. He’d probably had enough of her mother and the rambunctious gaggle of ladies downstairs and decided to sneak up here for his payment.

“Did you take off your clothes for them?” Felicity asks him breezily as she moves towards her wallet. “I mean I didn’t get to see anything so it’s kind of unfair that it’s falling on me to pay you but judging by all the noise downstairs the ladies enjoyed themselves so who am I to be petty and quibble.” 

Felicity pulls out a wad of cash and looks at him expectantly. He still doesn’t say anything, just gazes at her with this cool, almost insolent air. She briefly wonders if he was a struggling actor and this was his way of earning some extra cash. There was a certain element of drama to this guy. 

“How much do I owe you? Because I only have $300 in cash. I really don’t like to keep much cash so if it’s not enough do you want to leave a card so I can wire you the rest of your money?” 

Felicity smiles at him brightly as she shoves the $300 into his hand, taking a good look at his tight leather pants for good measure. Hey if she was paying for a show that she had missed she was going to take a peek now. 

“I’m not who you think I am. I am here for your help Felicity Smoak.” His voice is low, mechanical like, clearly aided by the use of a voice moderator. 

Wow, this guy took his work very seriously.

“You’re very devoted to your craft,” Felicity says looking impressed. “You make a wonderful Hood.”

She offers him an apologetic grin before adding; “I hope they weren’t too rough with you downstairs.” 

The costume, voice moderator and brooding looks all added to the overall effect. As someone who was a perfectionist when it came to her code, Felicity respected others who also put so much effort into their work. 

“I don’t think you understand Ms. Smoak. I AM the Hood,” he insists, taking a step closer and looming over her. 

“Well Mr. Hood, what have I done to fail this city?” Felicity purrs, batting her eyelids at him before bursting into a peal of giggles. 

“I’m really sorry. Clearly you’re putting so much effort into this. I would love to play along but the sultry, wide eyed damsel thing is not working for me.”

She pats his shoulder in an attempt to smooth things over and pauses when she notes how firm and utterly solid he’s built. She imagined he’d be buff in his line of work but this guy was something else. 

“Felicity Smoak I am the Hood, not a male adult entertainer and I am here for your help.” He quickly shoves a drive at her, as if to avoid any further arguments about him being a male stripper. 

“I need you to decrypt this drive for me.” 

“Oh,” Felicity hops back, her lips forming a surprised O. 

“Ooooh.” 

Slowly she places the tub of ice cream and spoon on her nightstand before reaching out to take the drive off him.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she advises him in the most dignified voice she can muster, pretending that she hadn’t spent the last five minutes accusing Starling’s vigilante of being a male stripper.

***

“Done!” Felicity Smoak grins at him cheerily handing him a small pink drive upon which she’d loaded all the decrypted information he needed.

“Thank you Ms. Smoak." 

He takes the pink drive off her, trying to suppress a smile that had snuck up on him out of nowhere. The pink room, pink bed sheets, the collection of plush stuffed pandas and now this pink drive. It was unlike anything he had encountered before and despite having only a glimpse at Felicity once all those years ago whereby she had called him cute, something about her made him want to smile. Again.

“Felicity is fine,” Felicity tells him with a smile. “That whole growly Ms. Smoak thing and you being in my room with me semi drunk makes me think completely disrespectful thoughts about you and the work I’ve done tonight.”

She giggles and smacks his arm, “Every time you say Ms. Smoak it sounds like I’ve been bad and the Hood is going to punish me.”

Felicity pauses before adding sheepishly, “Which I may not object to actually.” 

The raised eyebrow that he gives her snaps Felicity back to her senses and she blushes while looking shame faced at the same time. “But there will be no punishments of any sort since I have not failed this city so I guess you’re not going to spank me or anything.”

Suppressing the urge to smile at her once again, Oliver does the only thing he can think of, he gives her another stern look. 

“Can I have my money back?” Felicity asks him unexpectedly having now recovered from her verbal blunder and was acting like she’d committed no verbal gaffe at all. 

“Your money?” It was his turn to be taken back. He was so used to seeing everyone as a threat or target and yet this girl was leaving an impression on him for reasons he could not explain. He only knew that in contrast to everyone else, she was the only person who did not put him on edge. She threw him a little off kilter yes but not in an unpleasant way. 

“Yes may I have my $300 back please? Since you didn’t provide any entertainment at all.” 

Felicity holds out her hand expectantly and it’s only then that Oliver realizes he’s still holding onto the wad of cash she’d shoved at him earlier. 

“Err… sure,” he says, the confusion in his tone making his voice sound far less threatening now even with the voice moderator on. 

“Thank you Felicity,” he says crisply, standing up straight, trying his best to regain his vigilante stance despite her making him feel like he’s lost his growly edge.

“Glad to be of help,” Felicity beams at him. “You may want to get out quickly before my mom and her cohorts swarm up here and find you.” 

It is then that Oliver realizes he’s been standing around almost dawdling like he’s waiting something.

“I hope it all works out and thanks for trying to help the city,” she whispers softly as he makes his exit. 

*** 

“Felicity Smoak?” 

“Hi, I’m Oliver Queen.” 

Oliver stands just on the rim of her cubicle as he clutches the bullet ridden laptop, trying to discreetly work out whether she showed any signs of recognizing him or not. 

Of course she wouldn’t. He’d hidden his face and had his voice moderator on that night.

“Mr. Queen,” Felicity says, giving him a look as her eyes roam his physique from head to toe. Oliver flashes her one of his charming Ollie smiles. She may not recognize him but she sure did appreciate his appearance and he was going to use that to his advantage. 

“Oliver. Mr. Queen was my dad.” 

“What can I do for you Oliver?” Felicity asks levelling her gaze at him with an expression that once again he found unreadable. She was not impressed with his Ollie charms that much he could tell.

“I need help fixing my laptop,” he says quickly handing his laptop over. “I spilt a latte on it.” 

“These look like bullet holes,” Felicity tilts her head and gives him a look that no doubt is designed to show him how ridiculous she thinks his story is.

“My coffee shop is in a bad neighbourhood.” Oliver deadpans in an insistent tone.

Felicity gazes at him intently for a few seconds, sizing him up no doubt. She takes a deep breath before saying in a quiet voice, “I will get it done for you. Meet me at Big Belly Burger in three hours.”

Oliver’s first instinct is to protest. He did things his way, he dictated the terms. Who was this pint sized, perky, festive celebration of pink to dictate what he should do and where he should do it?

However something about her look makes him bite back his protest. There’s a firmness about the way she’s watching him, yet he can also detect a sympathetic understanding in her eyes.

As if reading his thoughts Felicity adds softly, “Don’t worry I am sure I can get this sorted for you quickly and without fanfare.” 

Her smile is gentle and before he can work out what’s happening he finds himself nodding in agreement with her. 

*** 

“I thought you understood that we’re to meet here alone?” Felicity’ gaze darts back and forth between Oliver and John Diggle furtively. 

“Anything you say to me you can tell John,” Oliver tells her firmly. “We share the laptop so he wants to know the contents too.”

John resists the urge to face palm at Oliver’s second comment, spoken with a dead straight face.

“Well in that case Mr. Hood and buff partner in crime, I have all the information you need from the laptop right here.” Felicity’s tone is light, although she’s made a conscious effort to lower her voice several decibels.

“But…” Oliver protests. “How did you…?” 

Oliver stares at her with a phenomenally daft puzzled expression while John folds his arms and gives his partner the most judgmental glare he can muster. Boy was an idiot and had no doubt decided to drop some ridiculous stories on this girl.

Felicity gives them a _look_ once again before she speaks.

“Oliver I assume before you showed up at my place you did your research on me. Did you happen to know I have an IQ of 170? I am not an idiot and you have dropped the most ridiculous lies on me. Not to mention you visited me in my home as the Hood and then showed up at my office with a bullet ridden laptop.” 

Felicity takes a deep breath and closes her eyes momentarily before opening them again.

“Your secret is safe with me but I don’t recommend you engage help this way in the future as everyone and their mother will work out who you are.” 

“I like her,” John Diggle says with a satisfied look of approval on his face as he smirks at Oliver. 

“Since you insist on putting it like that, how would you like to join the team? You have unique skills that we need. You…you can help a lot of people.” 

The earnesty in his tone catches Felicity by surprise. Oliver was a hardened man that much was certain. Anyone would be after having gone through what he’s presumably had to go through. However there was this soft sincerity in him she hadn’t expected.

“You mean as the third partner to stop you from doing ridiculous things and getting caught?” Felicity counters, grinning at him impishly. “I presume John here tries his best but is not always successful as evidence by your poor handling of me?”

Wordlessly John Diggle reaches out to give her a high five which Felicity returns swiftly and enthusiastically with a big grin on her face whilst keeping her eyes on Oliver who is now scowling at both of them. 

It was not in her nature to mock anyone, least of all someone who could probably kill her with his pinky but then it was also not everyday that she was asked by a handsome, brooding vigilante to be part of a vigilante trio. Felicity needed the humour and deflection to manage her stress levels. 

“Are you in or not?” Oliver grumbles at her gruffly.

“I’m in. But only to keep you out of trouble so you can continue all the good you do.”

Her tone is casual as she pats him playfully on the shoulder but Oliver has no doubt that Felicity means everything she says. 

There is something so certain, so resolute about the way she proclaims that he’s doing good for the city. This girl whom he’d caught a glance of one night all those years ago, who had made him smile with her babbling amidst the darkness and who he eventually reached out to, honestly thought there was good in him.

Felicity Smoak believed in him and that mattered somehow.

*** 

**Many many years later**

“And that is how I met your father,” Felicity beams at her family proudly like she hasn’t told this story every year for the last decade.

They all let out a collective groan, except Timothy, William’s husband who is a tragic romantic and die-hard superhero fan all rolled into one. Timothy had forgotten how many times he’d listened to this story but it never failed to appeal to the romantic in him. 

“Tell us about how you guys finally got together,” Timothy asks looking starry eyed again.

“Tim no matter how many times you give them an opening to rave about these stories it will not change the fact that we met during a business meeting that will never live up to mom and dad’s meeting. You just need to make peace with it hun.” William rolls his eyes at his husband. 

“Dad I love you but how did you survive all those years as a vigilante? Showing up as Oliver Queen a few days after Mom saw you as the Hood has got to be one of the dumbest things ever,” 16-year-old Mia laughs at her father.

Ordinarily that comment would earn a scowl had it come from anyone else but because Mia resembles Felicity in appearance and would always be five years old and cheeky in Oliver’s eyes, Oliver merely beams at his daughter. 

“I got the girl of my dreams didn’t I? Pretty damn smart if you think about it.” 

“I never ended up getting a birthday present from you for that night. Or a show, despite all the help I gave you,” Felicity pouts at her husband, temporarily forgetting that her children and son in law were still in the room. 

“Hey I put on a pretty good show for your birthdays in the years after,” Oliver responds in a low voice with a goofy yet flirtatious grin on his face. 

Will scrunches his face up in horror as his dad preens, yes preens at Felicity. Felicity smiles dreamily at her husband and pulls him in for a kiss. 

Will quickly looks away but not fast enough. He thinks he spots tongue and darts his eyes towards Mia for help. 

Mia simply shrugs at him, trying her best to look cool and unperturbed. Will casts his sister an irritated glare. He knew she was just as horrified as him by their parents’ antics but now suddenly she’s too cool to react to anything.

Mia was fiercely competitive and it seems like recently she was on some kick to try and be as stoic as possible no matter what was happening around her. Will blamed it on Nyssa. They were children of vigilantes but they didn’t need to be trained within an inch of their lives the way Mia was. Clearly Mia was destined to take over the family business of vigilante-ing. She enjoyed her training and hung out with the LOA far too often. 

Giving up on his sister but still hoping to see an appropriate level of outrage, Will turns to Lucas, the 14 year old baby of the family who was busily shoveling birthday cake into his gob. 

Lucas of course was lost somewhere in his own little world. 

“Can you pick me up from the shelter two hours later than usual tomorrow? The poor puppy farm goldens that came in last week all have skin issues. Nothing they won’t recover from but it’s going to take a long time for us to sift through their fur, trim it and apply cream.”

If William was the business tech guru of the family (and the child who took after Felicity in almost every way he liked to think smugly to himself) and Mia was the future vigilante, Lucas was their resident hippy. He had a passion for animals and veterinary science.

“Yes of course,” William sighs, resigned to the fact that his siblings were just not going to rally around him tonight.

“Which suit is it going to be this year?” 

“I always thought your little stint as Al Sah Him was pretty hot.” 

“Mrs. Queen! So naughty.”

His parents are attempting to speak in whispers whilst giggling foolishly at each other, seemingly having forgotten about their children altogether. 

“Timothy and I are heading home now. Happy Birthday Mom,” William announces loudly, getting up and pulling his husband up with him. 

“Bye darling. Thanks for picking up your brother this week,” Felicity calls out to him as she dangles over Oliver’s shoulder. His dad is hauling Felicity off upstairs and William averts his eyes just in time to avoid seeing Oliver slap Felicity’s rear end.

Out of the corner of his eye Will sees Mia make a disgusted face when she thinks no one is looking. This gives him a certain amount of satisfaction.

“Think of puppies Will, just think of all the puppies and kittens I’ve introduced you to and you’ll be ok,” Lucas tells him serenely as he carves into his third slice of cake.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I have developed a habit of tacking on all their children at the end because OLICITY DESERVE A HAPPY LIFE IN EVERY UNIVERSE!!!!!!


End file.
